Poets, singers and the whole of mankind have been trying to sum up what love is for an eternity. Its a feeling not an actual material thing so it will mean different things to different people. But love certainly isn’t many things and sometimes we get so caught up telling ourselves we have found our soul mate that we actually believe what we are telling ourselves.

Love is gentle, love is kind…..it makes you happy and makes you feel better about yourself. It cant be bought and it isn’t controlling or manipulative. Love isn’t critical or untrusting. Love makes you smile for no reason and doesn’t make you dread each day.

Love isn’t fearful. It shouldn’t make you question your own sanity or lie. It isn’t perfect nor is it like the fairytales. Love is holding on and never letting go. It’s not thinking you are not enough. It’s about facing the world together through the ups and downs. It’s not something you discard when its no use to you.

Its also not having to say sorry all the time. You should never apologize for being you, for having emotions or needs and expressing them. And most certainly you should never ever apologize for just nothing. All that does is make you feel like crap and eat away at your self-confidence and anything else that starts with self.

If you feel you have to apologize all the time you are walking on eggshells. Living your life on eggshells is exhausting. Demoralizing. Depressing. It will take away any self-confidence you have. When your living on eggshells you can’t be yourself, you fear others reactions when you speak up, if you have any confidence to speak up that is.

There are only two options.

Talk to the person in connection to it. They may not realize what they are doing. Try not to shout, blame or point the finger but use words like ‘it makes me feel’. Hopefully, you can work through it as a team and have your happy ending.

If though you talk and nothing changes and you talk again and nothing changes your options are really only to leave as the pattern will never change no matter how much you want it to. You deserve a better love than that. Find someone else to have your happy ending with.

Lastly, there is staying. Putting up with it. Please please please don’t be this person. I know you don’t have the confidence to leave. I know you think you are not good enough for anyone so your holding on the relationship in hope that it will change. It won’t. It never does. Dig really deep and find that tiny bit of love for yourself and start to value yourself. Then take the next hopeful step because you deserve a happy ending too.