Most people who I tell that I am not very confident normally laugh as if I am playing a joke on them. I come across fairly confident and can talk and joke with strangers at a drop of a hat. But the thing is, I am not very confident at all. To the point, I don’t actually have confidence. I have learned though how to fake it. How to pass me off as confident so much so I almost believe it.
It’s mainly in your body language and its one of those things that if you just do it you get the nack of it and your brain sort of follows along.
First up let’s start with your walk. Don’t walk like a timid little mouse but with a purpose in each step. Small steps make you look hurried and time. Increasing your stride slows you but also makes you appear more confident.
When you stand, make sure you don’t stand with your arms crossed or legs crossed. I don’t mean you have to stand there like a starfish but when you have your arms crossed you are forming a barrier and telling others not to approach. Your saying no so when there is no barrier your more approachable and appear more confident.
Stand tall, imagine also that you have a piece of string tied to the top of your head and it’s pulling you upwards. As it pulls you upwards it makes your head face forward instead of down, chin up, eyes forward and your shoulders back. All far more confident then eyes looking down at your feet and shoulders hunched over.
Hands out of pockets too. It looks untidy for starters but showing people your hands tells people you are confident. Think of dogs and cats. They only show their bellies to people they are confident around. Same with humans, though we don’t go round showing our bellies, our hands are the same. And while you have those hands out and waving them about keep palms upwards too. Showing our palms indicates you are honest and trustworthy.
Don’t fidget. Not with your fingers or with pen lids or anything. People fidget when they feel unconfident. So by not fidgetting, you are showing people you are confident.
Lastly your face. Two things here to concentrate on and the most important. Smile because smiling tells people you are trustworthy, honest and a secret Cheshire cat. Just kidding on the cat bit, I thought I would check how awake you were. Get bold with the eye contact. This is admittedly the hardest to do especially when you are trying to do it. Looking at people in the eye as you talk to them, tells them you are calm, honest, friendly and most importantly as confident.
Being confident really is a case of faking it till you make it type of thing. When you first start trying these tips you will feel awkward and feel like your being looked at by everyone. You kinda are because you are coming across as confident and people love to watch and levitate towards people who are confident.