If you are reading this it might be that you came across this post because you don’t 100% love yourself. Maybe you do a bit but know there is some work to be done. Or maybe you are like me and you have spent far too long not loving yourself 100%. Whichever …you are not alone. I have spent way too many years believing I wasn’t loveable. Hating myself and visibly recoiling when I saw a reflection of myself. For me, it wasn’t a case of no one would love me till I loved myself. but very much the opposite till it got to the point I loathed myself. So kinda starting at rock bottom for me.

Finding self-love isn’t about having the latest fashion trends or being a size 0. If you are being unappreciated, disrespected and rejected more times than you care for….you have a less self-love than you rightfully should have.

If you are unhappy in a relationship

but holding on in there just in case?

Yep, you guessed it, lack of self-love.

Finding self-love isn’t just putting up some motivational post-it note or a thousand of them and expecting just by reading them your full of self-love. It isn’t found at the bottom of a wine bottle, I have looked. It’s not hiding under a yoga mat either.

The only thing that is holding you back from this elusive self-love is….yep you got it, you.

First up, the happiness thing – happiness isn’t found in all the expensive things you buy. It’s not in the actions of other people. You own your happiness and no one else. Your happiness starts and ends with you. Its down to you if you are going to be happy or sad. Trust me, it’s much more enjoyable being happy.

Next up your friendships and relationships. You will have some that make you happy but I bet you have some that grate you. Have some respect for yourself and let go of the ones that don’t make you smile. Yes, it may make you sad short term but it’s like taking a plaster off. Get on with it an start letting go.

You totally own what goes on in your head. It’s all yours. So why do we sabotage ourselves by talking negatively to ourselves and giving our selves a hard time in our heads? It’s the worse place as there isn’t anyone arguing back so the negatives just keep flowing. May an effort to put an end to it and if you start off down the negative route try and switch to positive.

Live in the moment. I use to think this was a stupid thing to say let alone understand… is tree hugging next? But actually, it makes a lot of sense. Stop worrying you haven’t found the one or that your single. You don’t know what is around the corner. Some people never get to see what is around the corner. Be grateful for what you have right now and bloody well enjoy it.

Love your family for just being them. Yep, your parents probably cocked it up being parents. There is no such thing as perfect parents. You will probably really mess up being a parent too. If you have siblings be grateful you do and if you don’t be grateful you don’t.

Accept that some people will never change. They will always be unavailable or emotionally empty. Toxic people will take more energy than you have to love and you will come out of it with more pain than love. It’s not down to you to fix them or even try to fix them. Your only concern is yourself.

Learn respect. Not just for everyone else but most importantly for yourself.

This one does take time, I am still working on me and will check in on how I am doing soon.