Every human has something they deeply regret and actions they feel shame for. But no matter who was at fault and what the implications were, you don’t have to live the rest of your life punishing yourself. Here are some helpful tips for finally letting go of the shame and regret you are experiencing.
Apologize, Even to Yourself
The first thing that needs to be done in order to move past any shame and regret you are feeling is to apologize. This can be apologizing to the people you hurt or that it inadvertently affected, apologizing t your family who might have been dealing with the consequences of your own shame, and even apologizing to yourself for whatever happened.
But remember, apologizing doesn’t always mean forgetting, it is just the first step. Making amends to people you feel you have wronged is such an important and valuable step.
Come to a Place of Acceptance
Since what has happened can’t be taken back, there is nothing now to do but move forward. Accepting what has happened and that you have no control over the past is a good way to begin moving on. Once you have made a choice and the event has happened, there is nothing that can be done. All you can do is find a way to accept it and move on. You can live in the past, but that is a pointless waste of your time and energy. Letting go isn’t easy, but it is the only way to move forward.
Focus on Everything You Did Right
No matter what the situation is that has you feeling a lot of regret, there was probably something you did that was right. Even if it didn’t end up turning out how you wanted. Try to find anything that you can still be proud of, whether it was having good intentions even if it didn’t quite go how you planned, or maybe how you handled the consequences after the fact.
Brain Dump, Then Let it Go
Finally, you can do a brain dump in your journal to further let it go and come to a place of acceptance and forgiveness. This is where you open up those wounds and really let the feelings and emotions and shame come out. This can be a painful process, but it is much like opening a wound to let out the infection, then allowing it to get healthy and heal properly.