I use to think that I needed someone in my life to give me strength and make me happy. I think it was this mis-belief that has kept me in situations years longer than I should have been. Yes, there is comfort in having someone there for you supposedly cheering you on and making you laugh but the truth is your strength and happiness is only dependable on one thing. You.

In simple terms,

it’s you who decides how you are going to react to something

It’s you who decides if to face a crisis head-on or crawl up in a bawl and cry. It’s you who decides if you’re going to wake up a happy or sad person tomorrow morning.

When we are faced with a situation that needs us to draw on our strength we have two choices. There is the ‘oh shit I cant handle this’ choice which is generally followed by tears, anger and lots of other negative attitudes and actions. It doesn’t achieve anything positive and only results in hiding from the situation and prolonging the pain and what needs to be done.

Then there is the choice of ‘ok I can handle this’ Where your next step is working out what you need to do and working through it methodically. You also learn from the mistakes or situation which is a huge adult thing to own.

The same with happiness. It’s you who decides if they are going to be happy simply by deciding to be happy. Once I figured this out and decided I wanted to be a happy person and just got on with it I found I can get ridiculously excited about the simplest of things. I’m not and won’t depend on anyone else to make me happy. I choose to make myself happy.

Just think on that a sec. How empowering would it be to know that no one could ever take your strength away from you again? That no one could take your happiness away from you again? This is one of those things I wish I had drummed into me as a kid as it would have saved a lot of tears and heartache over the years.

To reach this mindset does require a bit of work, it’s not quite like flicking a switch. It does take a fair bit of willpower to believe in yourself and not fold on the first time your strength is tested. But you are a lot stronger than you think you are and half the battle is having belief in yourself.

Its the same with happiness but an easier mindset to achieve. I found by simply smiling even when I didn’t feel like it was a huge step in the right direction. Also telling myself I was excited about the little things, kinda faking it till you make it, was a bit addictive and soon my mind caught up.

Try it today – think of 10 little things that make you feel happy. They can be little things but think of them and let them make you smile. Now remember that feeling and use it on things your less than happy about.

Soon you will be on that elusive mindset everyone is looking for.