Finding Emotional Sobriety

Handling a breakup is undoubtedly the worse thing ever. I mean it doesn’t just suck but really sucks. The breakup may have been a surprise or even if you saw it coming for months, you will suddenly seem to stand in some kind of emotionally draining quicksand. You feel you can’t go forward and the more you try to the more you get sucked under.

When you’re stuck in the emotional quicksand, you probably resorted to a lot of overthinking, a fair amount of stalking and a bucket load of rehashing it all in mind and analyzing every little detail. No matter how you replay it unless you are an emotional stone, you always end up with the same outcome “I wasn’t enough”. You will wail it, sob it, think it and believe it whilst you wallow in your emotional drunk binge.

I can say to you till I am blue in the face you are enough but you won’t hear it because of you how this one person makes you feel right now is how you think your whole life ever was, is now and will be. Your logic has gone off the rails. It’s not remembering how you actually had a life before you knew this person let alone it actually was a happy one. All you can focus on is how you feel now and you think that’s how you ever felt and will feel.

You need to put the emotional wine glass down for a sec

and get some clarity and realizations in to help you get your head clear again

Because you were and are good enough, stop thinking you’re not enough but I am guessing you are arguing back on that one still.

Think of it this way – I don’t know your breakup circumstances but if you had to explain to them that their actions, empathy, honesty, consideration or fairness was hurting you in any way then they will never be the person who will ever understand you in the way your heart wants them to. You shouldn’t have to explain so stop trying to explain and stop reacting and realize that when you have that black horrible feeling of missing them it is because at that moment you are ignoring reality for an emotional wallow with your projections.

And also remember it’s ok to feel the pain but not ok to feed it. It’s healthy and normal to feel all the sadness, pain and emotions. You need to feel it all to reach indifference which is where you move on. But it’s not healthy or ok to let those feelings rot inside you. It will eat away at your self-confidence and esteem.

Another thing to remember is that no one or situation can make you feel something you don’t believe. If you know absolutely your not a horrible person and someone tries to tell you that you are you wouldn’t give them the time of day or give what they said to the contrary a second thought. So on the flip side if you thought there was a part of you that was horrible and someone said the same to you it would get blown out of proportion in your head and suddenly its grown to you being the most horrible person in the world…in your head. All because you believe a tiny amount of it. You need to be working on how you feel about yourself.

So if you are stuck believing negatives about yourself it also makes sense that whatever you see in yourself you will eventually become. So if you think you need someone to complete you and make you happy then that is all you will be, incomplete and unhappy till someone comes along. On that preverbal flip side again…if you believe you are happy no matter what …..guess what… you will be.