Over on my other blog, Confessions of a Single Mum I wrote about the prospect of dating again at the grand age of …well let’s just say over 40. I haven’t been one of those who met their soul mate early in life and then settled down to a life of coupled bliss not having to look at a dating site or think about dating ever again.
Instead, I have managed to have dated in the last 3 out of my so far 5 decades. And that sentence right there manages to make me feel so very old and oddly rebellious.
So after so much research which was obviously purely just for your benefit *ahem*. I have to be honest and admit though that dating in my 40’s has got to be the best decade out of them all.
Dating in your 20’s
In my 20s, like lots of other 20 somethings, I was still working myself out. Working out what I wanted in life. It’s an age that we think we know it all. We want it all and we damn well sure we will have it all whatever way and no matter what it costs. We are hormonal and moody and completely oblivious to both. We scrutinize the smallest immaterial things and blow out of all proportions anything and everything. We eye up suitable partners, wondering if they want a family and if they would be a good a parent. And the really big question, if we can love them forever without murdering them.
Dating in your 30’s
Then in your 30’s, it gets way more complicated as there might be children already around. There are more talks and negations than the United Nations. In between working out which child is at which parents hoe and when and how to get 5 minutes peace there are still questions in the air like should we have kids, do I really want more kids. You might even ask yourself if you can be arsed to do the whole marriage thing again. A sort f mild panic sets in as you start to realize body parts are fast heading south. You also start to notice second helpings of desert might not be the best of ideas anymore as weight is hanging around where it never used to.
Dating when you’re over 40
But then there is your 40’s. More children aren’t generally a viable option as mother nature has wandered in and slashed your odds to gazillion to 1 or said no thank you very much I’m shutting up shop already. You don’t have to wonder if they will be a good parent as you probably already know by seeing them with their own children. But then its a whole different ball game as children aren’t generally at the young awkward stage also more likely to get along.
You’re more relaxed in yourself. You’re at the stage of life where you’re fed up with dramas and just can’t be arsed with it all. Whats more you have the confidence, or rather you have realized how short life actually is, to say sod it and use the word no liberally. Just about everyone is in the same boat body wise and its all going south so it doesn’t matter and it all can south together.
It’s sad too that as we get older you may have also have experienced the loss of a parent, family member or friends and this gives you a whole new persepctive as you realize how short life is and you start to grab it by the horns. You’ve watched others not go after dreams or settle for less than they deserved or wanted. So when you’re faced with dating when you’re over 40 it does change your priorities and you start to put yourself first.
And then there are grandchildren. You sit there smugly slightly relived your not yet into the grandparent stage and you meet someone …..who has 7 already. You’ve inherited grandchildren.